Battered Not Broken, Inc. a Domestic Abuse 501 (c) (3) Organization providing education, support, empowerment, and resources for victims of domestic abuse.

Disclosure Notice: This blog is a personal blog written and edited by the blog owner, written for their own purposes, which is but not limited to: spread hope, encouragement, support and education in regard but not limited to intimate partner abuse. The details (personal or otherwise) views and opinions expressed on this blog are purely the blog owners (unless noted or cited otherwise). If the blog owner claims or appear to be an expert on a certain topic or product or service, it is based on the blog owners own expertise or personal knowledge o r experience and are therefore worthy of such endorsement. Any product or service, claim, statistic, quote or other representation, should be verified with the manufacturer or provider.

Breaking the Emotional Bondage of Rejection & Bad Relationships

February 22, 2016

 

 

 

Many people are living in bondage, but not the kind of "bondage" that you can see...instead, they are bound by the worst form of bondage...emotional bondage.  Rejection is the most painful of all the emotions; it is one of the deepest emotions we experience, as it cripples our self-worth, cutting deep and going straight to our core. Rejection can cause you to believe a lie about yourself and you can end up projecting  it on other people. Rejection sends a false message and signals to us that we are not enough, not worthy and ultimately keeps us bound. Parents do it to their children, and husbands/wives do it to their spouse; it's a devastating form of control...and until a person recognizes the presence of rejection in their life and deals with it..they will remain troubled by it the rest of their life.

 

We all know that domestic abuse is all about power and control. Once upon a time, I was in an abusive relationship where I was constantly looking for validation from my ex..and the more I looked for it, the more he rejected me and validated that I was not enough. The more I showed my thirst and hunger for his approval and affection..the more he deprived me of it; the more he rejected me...the harder..I worked to prove my worth to him and it became a vicious cycle. There were times when he would punish me with "the silent treatment" by not speaking to me for days, all while living under the same roof. Despite him not "talking" to me...he was exerting his power and control and his rejection was speaking volumes emotionally. Over time, I began to second guess myself and question who I was. According to him, I could never do anything right; no matter how hard I tried, he always found a way to twist my intentions and make them something that it was not. I began to believe I was a difficult person and hard to love. The thing about being rejected is if you're not careful...you will begin to reject others, especially yourself.

 

I reached a point in my life where I had to question myself regarding why I was so needy for validation from this person (despite his constant rejection)...I just kept coming back for more. He could see all my vulnerabilities and was using them as his leverage for power and control to keep me bound.  It all boils down to this important question you must ask yourself: What is it in my past that keeps coming to the surface?  You must find out what it is, because it will be there until you deal with it.  You have to pray to God so that he will reveal it in your spirit and bring it to the surface so you can deal with it; otherwise you will go through life being handicapped by the things that happened in your past.

 

In my healing and forgiveness journey with domestic abuse, God revealed to me that hurt people, hurt people. They are critical of themselves, of others and of YOU; for them to feel good, they have to bring you down to where they are. Some people reject you because they have a problem, not you...yet, they project it onto you and it then becomes your problem too!  God bestowed on me the clarity to see that his rejection was not about me at all...it was about him. During our relationship, I recall my ex-sharing stories about how his father abused and rejected him as a child and how still bothered him. You see, parents can set their children in a wrong direction very early in life and he was a prime example. I'm  definitely NOT making excuses for his behavior (especially the abuse); however as I said: hurt people, hurt people and I am able to see his behavior of rejection towards me...was not about me and my worth..but about his own worth. It's hard to be something you never had.

 

They say that hindsight is 20/20. Now that I am in an emotionally, spiritually and physically in a healthier place, I can see crystal clear that: 

 

you can not get a person to satisfy a need that only God can supply.

 

I was looking for validation and acceptance from someone that was never able and qualified to give it to me in the first place. I know my worth, I know where I belong, and I will never again look for a person to fulfill in me..what only God can do.

 
 
" You belong to GOD...you are worthy to him; it boils down to choice: you can believe what God says about you, or what other people believe about you!" ~ Dr. Charles Stanley
 
 

 

This video is courtesy of InTouch Ministries 

 

To subscribe to InTouch Ministries and hear other sermons by Dr. Stanley, visit: InTouch Ministries

 


I appreciate The Praying Woman's support in publishing my articles in order to spread faith, encouragement and support to their followers! 

Please reload

Our Recent Posts

What My Women's Group Taught Me About God's Scheduled Delays

May 8, 2019

How to Donate While Shopping

March 26, 2019

Broken to Beautiful (**Warning Graphic Content**)

October 4, 2018

1/1
Please reload

Tags

Please reload